why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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