my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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