this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
