Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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