Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
