her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
