I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
