Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
