Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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