i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
