I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize