The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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