Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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