Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
