so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
