Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
