Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
