I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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