I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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