Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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