is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We are two peas in an std pod
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
