Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
