i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
