You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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