I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
