I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
