I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
