Me too!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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