You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
