I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
