It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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