just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
