She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
