So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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