i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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