Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
