come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
