I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
