We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
my poor anus
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
