8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Who wears a wallet chain?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
