so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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