batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize