a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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