There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
