I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
