wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hippo gnu deer
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
