Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
