How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
