he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
