There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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