He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
