Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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