38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
