How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
