I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
