I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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